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Why do Empaths attract Psychopaths?

Are you highly empathic - yet seem to deeply attract/be attracted to… psychopaths?

Ever wondered about this ironic dynamic? Here’s a little theory of mine about why highly empathic people (let’s say ‘Empaths’ for ease of use) often end up in abusive, gaslighting relationships with narcissists, sociopaths - and out-right psychopaths*.

I’ve been pondering on this a long time and (un)fortunately, have offered it to a number of clients in therapeutic sessions. The lightbulb moments I’ve witnessed have been a joy to share in, like seeing a beautiful bird released from a cage or at least, in seeing there is a door. So, I’m sharing this pretty simple theory because I think there are a lot of highly sensitive people who will benefit from the perspective. It is based on a combination of direct experience, professional practice and scholarly research.

*(The term ‘psychopath’ is contentious and generally refers to anti-social...

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Coaching it? Problems with the coaching bandwagon. How to not get sucked in.

This is an article about the rapidly growing industry - but also the accompanying bandwagon. Read on to help you get clear on what you need to know as a buyer of coaching and also, as someone taking up the coaching mantle too.

When searching for quality coaching to invest in, it's becoming increasingly hard to work out who is truly 'worth their salt' and, who is perhaps better taken with a pinch of it.

It’s time to get some perspective and see clearly why coaching without niche focus is in need of close examining. With an increasing trend for getting a coach / becoming a coach, it’s hard to cut the wheat from the chaff. It’s not surprising as ambiguity plays a growing role in what is increasingly a sales business (and not a coaching business).


Genuine Coaches have Genuine offers

Genuine coaches have niche skills, expertise and real experience to share. Such individuals can be a one-time boon, an ongoing asset, or even a life changer to the corresponding...

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Many Types and Lines of Intelligence - why you are smarter than you know

What is intelligence? How do you know how smart you are?
'Multiple intelligences' (concept developed by Howard Gardner) or 'lines of development' (Ken Wilber) refer generally to how we understand, appreciate, value, organise and utilise knowledge and experience in our own unique ways. Our culture tends tot favour and praise very limited lines, especially those traditionally associated with academia. 

Thankfully, society is moving forward with a more enlightened approach to other ways of knowing, doing and being.  So what if... you are much smarter, much more capable than you ever thought? 
(hint... you are!)
Here are some guidelines to get you pondering on wider and deeper levels about your own talents and also to perhaps spot areas to work on to help overcome hurdles too. I'm listing all I can identify, not what I personally propose to have any ontological 'truth' per se.
I have alphabetised them as I believe that they...
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The Magical Language of Flowers

Floriography is the ‘language of flowers’.

A beautiful word in itself isn't it!? Pronounced 'flor-ee-o-graphy'.... 

For thousands of years, from the Romans to the Victorians, plants and flowers have been laden with symbolism. Their types, colours, forms and formations, scents and genders are all used to communicate nuanced, encoded messages and to convey deep feelings – particularly love and romance. 

This practice of symbolism, emotional resonance all encased in the beauty of nature makes them our perfect manifesting ally! 

Different species, are chosen for their individual colours, scents, shapes, mythologies and stories – as expressed in their petals, vines, leaves and stems. Here, where nature and symbolism join, we can dare to be a little more adventurous than we perhaps would with a pen and card. If vision boards or journaling aren't your thing, why not create statements of your intentions with flowers, plants and trees?


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Philosophy & Manifesting: Is There A Link?

- written by Jessica McKenzie

Manifesting is the ability to bring something physical into your life through the practice of attraction and belief. 

 Philosophy is “the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence.”  - Definition from Oxford Languages.

Manifestation is becoming increasingly popular with the generations of today, and it is becoming more and more commonly practiced wherever we may turn. Manifestation is traditionally used to be able to change your life, and to guide you into living the life that you so very deserve to live - your best life. It is used to bring something physical to you whether that may be a new career, money, a new home, partner, marriage or pet! We manifest through the art of believing and using our thoughts and energy to create our own personal reality. 

Philosophy is used to try and explain multiple areas and corners of the life and world that we are living in - in every aspect possible....

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New Moon crystals and wishes to harness the rising energy of springtime

Uncategorized Feb 08, 2021

I feel like the moon is a very beautiful woman. She's in control.   

Ravyn Lenae.  

Written by Hayley Jarvis

The nature of new moon energy is all about renewal and new beginnings. This is the time to make new moon wishes and take full advantage of powerful lunar magic. 

It's no mistake that planting at new moon has long been practised by farmers.  And just as it's the perfect time for planting seeds, we can plant powerful intentions in alignment with our future dreams. Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a while but keep putting off or not quite found the right time for? A business project, meditation practice or course.  Perhaps there’s something you want to bring into your life… love, freedom, money, a new car, home or job?  Now is the time to dream BIG and use the momentum of this luscious lunar energy, grab some crystals, get intentional and make those new moon wishes come true.


Crystals to Use...

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Turn Anxious habits in to Manifesting skillsĀ 

Anxious thinking and anxious behaviour patterns can be very destructive and absolutely get in the way of manifesting practice. This is because they orient us toward what we do NOT want, what we fear and are trying to avoid. Totally ironic, right?

So it's actually a problem of direction - not so much the 'what' you are doing or thinking - it's the orientation of those thoughts and actions that affects the outcomes.

What if... you can turn the actual habits themselves around to our best use? You absolutely can.

Think about your anxious thoughts, physical sensations, behaviours and emotions. Not so much as worries but what matters to you. e.g. If you worry about the safety of your cat, perhaps dig down to see what that's 'all about'... perhaps it is showing you that you have a deep value for animal companionship? Or, perhaps you worry about getting along with your colleagues and boss? Perhaps instead of focussing on the fear of fitting in, you focus instead on your deep...

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Crystals for Manifesting with the Full moon

“The moon is earth’s oldest temple holding the potency of countless prayers since the dawn of time… a bell whose ringing brings you into the field of the Mother, where body and soul can quietly drink.”  Dana Gerhardt, Mooncircles.



Most crystal lovers know exactly when full moon comes around since its time to get your beauties out under that moon energy for cleansing, charging and general moon bathing.  Spa time for your crystals if you will!

But it's so much more than that, as are all the glorious cycles of the moon.  With each phase there are specific lunar energies to tune into and harness, creating alignment in our manifesting endeavours and lives.

Full moon is lunar energy at its peak!  The energy has been building throughout the cycle and becomes very much about completion, wholeness and power.  With a bang!  Previous new moon wishes may be coming to fruition or you may realise that they are going to take a...

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Imposter Syndrome: How to Tell if you're Really as Fake as you Feel

Have you ever been overwhelmed by the feeling that you 'just do not know enough' to stand and be counted in your own field? That it's only a matter of ticking time until you are exposed as a terrible fraud?

You are not alone.

This could be Imposter Syndrome. 

Imposter Syndrome has become a rather trendy term recently with all the pop psychologists and armchair coaches jumping on it to show off their brilliant trending insight. However, as always I'd like to take a much closer look because although Google will yield many results for the term, no-one (at least to my satisfaction) is addressing this from a particularly authentic point of deep understanding - the experience of Imposter Syndrome is far more nuanced than most appear to comprehend. 

Perhaps this is because it's trendy - and so it's talked about in an iterative way. Perhaps it's also because, as you will see, there is a parallel problem that requires understanding real self-doubt, not the...

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33 easy (and inexpensive) ways to get your manifesting mojo back

Some days things just feel off. You know everything you "should" do to create your best life, but your usual routine isn't making you feel the high vibe you'd hoped. Here are 33 of our go-to tips for getting back on top again when things feel a little flat.

1. Take a mindful walk somewhere with natural abundance
2. Visit a butterfly centre - butterflies are high vibe, joyful, transformational, and abundant!

3. Make yourself some really fancy looking food (think 8 course tasting menu, super cute mini desserts, whatever you would love to have in a super high-end restaurant
4. Out in nature, take the time to notice and really focus on jewel colours - sapphire ocean? Emerald leaves? Ruby red roses? Soak up the opulence of nature!
5. Declutter a room and focus on creating a...

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